THE MANY NAMES BEFORE THE TRINITY OF SELF.

The Trinity of Self did not arrive all at once. And it was not my first experience with fragmentation.

I have been psychologically splitting to survive since I was a child.

Jackie Rose: The Girl Before

That was my name before everything shattered. The girl before the first crack. Before the lies I had been told became visible. Before rage had a reason and grief had no language.

Age 8: The First Crack

I found out I was adopted. In a Catholic school. In a home where the foundation was already unsteady.

Something started to rage. It did not have a name yet.

Age 12: The Part That Would Not Let Me Die

My biological father died. Part of me died with him. I started struggling to want to stay alive.

My mother betrayed me to the juvenile system when I tried to defend myself. I was a child. She called me the criminal.

That is when a part emerged that said: if no one will protect me, I will protect myself.

She did not have a name yet. But she was already here.

Adolescence: Systems and Streets

Group homes. Juvie lockups. Staying with people I did not know because nowhere else felt safe. Living like a nomad because nowhere was safe.

By adolescence, I was using fake names. Not to create personas. To survive. I was being groomed into CSEC, Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children, though I would not have that language until years later when I became a Human Trafficking Support Specialist.

The names were survival masks. Ways to keep the real me protected while everything else was being taken.

2018: Serenity Delve

By 2018, I was using the name Serenity Delve. A name that means to search and dig for peace. Prophetic, though I did not know it yet.

That is the name I was using when I was arrested. That is when I was rescued, by the family of God, through the very system that had always criminalized me.

I was still prosecuted as a perpetrator. And was not recognized as the child who had been exploited since the age of fourteen.

But during the arrest, something else happened. Prophetic messages about purpose. The same kind I had received as a teenager. Messages about using all of this to help others.

I am still figuring out what that fully means. And I am doing it anyway.

2019 to Present: Recovery and Rebuilding

I entered the halfway house in January 2019 and began finding a new way of life. I was on probation from 2019 through October 2025.

I will not disclose my clean date. Because recovery is not linear and healing is not either. And I am not going to perform perfect sobriety to be worthy of sharing this work.

Three years of deliberate reconstruction. Burning down what was rotted to replant the garden. Rebuilding relationships with my children. Grieving past versions of myself, identities I shed, people I lost. Doing the kind of inner work that breaks you open before it makes you whole.

That is when the Trinity began to emerge.

Phase 1: Jypze Nyx— Reclaiming Softness

💗 Pink eyes in videos mean Jypze ‘Jinx’ is speaking.

After the rescue. After entering recovery. After beginning to rebuild.

I named her Jypze Nyx. The playful, wildly sensitive part that everyone said was too much. The part that had been buried under every survival name, every mask, every version of me that had to become something else to stay alive.

She was still there underneath all of it.

I named her because if I did not, I would lose her completely. I did not know I was doing parts work. I just knew she deserved to be seen.

In hindsight, I now know Jypze is what Internal Family Systems calls an Exile. The wounded inner child that holds the qualities we are told to hide.

Phase 2: Lucia — Naming the Shadow That Kept Me Alive

❤️ Red eyes in videos mean Lucia D’Lilith is speaking.

She had been there since I was twelve. Unnamed but present. The part that emerged when my father died, and my mother chose the systems that felt safer over her child. The part that said if no one else will protect me, I will.

She kept me alive through everything. The streets. The systems. The survival work. The arrest. The halfway house.

In 2019, a sister at the halfway house gave her a first name. Lyrical Glamsta. Because I was always rhyming, always pouring fire out through words and music. She saw the spark and named it.

In 2022, after leaving the halfway house and beginning work as a DV and SA trauma-informed counselor, I finally honored her fully. By 2024, she became Lucia Dantalion Lilith.

She is not the enemy. She is the sacred bodyguard. She is what IFS calls a Firefighter and what Jung called the Shadow. The rejected power that society calls dangerous and survivors call survival.

Phase 3: Isa'Rose Sophia — The Sovereign Marriage

🤍🖤 Yin-yang eyes in videos mean Isa'Rose is speaking.

When Isa'Rose emerges, you stop performing healed and start living integrated. You hold the paradox. You are soft and fierce at the same time. Traumatized and resilient at the same time. You speak truth without armor. You parent your parts instead of exiling them.

She is Lucia's fire refined into discernment. She is Jypze's wounded wing, rooted in softness. She is the one who holds them both.

I am the rose that bloomed from the battlefield. I am the garden that grew from the wreckage. I am the myth that refused to stay buried. I did not fall. I became the garden.

IFS Validation: Discovery, Not Origin

In Fall 2025, my therapist introduced me to Internal Family Systems.

And I realized I had been doing parts work since I was twelve years old.

I did not learn IFS and apply it to my life. I lived fragmentation. I survived by splitting. Lucia kept me alive. Jypze kept me soft. Isa'Rose wove them together. Then I found the clinical language for what I had already done.

This is what happens when lived experience meets clinical scholarship.

About Isa'Rose Sophia

Survivor. Advocate. Counselor. Educator.

Associate's Degree in Human Services. Currently pursuing a Bachelor's in Psychology at Bay Path University. The Spirituality of IFS scholarship training with Dr. Richard Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems. Former DV and SA Trauma-Informed Counselor. Human Trafficking Support Specialist. 2025 Holyoke Community College Commencement Speech Orator & NSLS Inductee

I did not learn this framework in a classroom and apply it to my life. I lived it first. Then I went back to understand why it worked.

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HONORING LINEAGE

The Trinity Stands on the Shoulders of:

Ancient Wisdom:

  • Indigenous shamans across cultures who have practiced soul retrieval for thousands of years

  • Medicine women and men who understood fragmentation long before Western psychology

Western Psychology:

  • Sigmund Freud (Id/Ego/Superego - the first Western model of a divided psyche)

  • Carl Jung (Shadow work, archetypes, individuation, the Self)

  • Dr. Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems - parts work, Self-leadership)

Performance Psychology:

  • Todd Herman (author of The Alter Ego Effect, coach to elite athletes)

  • Kobe Bryant ("Black Mamba" - alter ego for accessing peak performance)

  • Beyoncé ("Sasha Fierce" - stage persona for confidence and power)

Survivor Advocates:

  • Every survivor who named their pain to survive it

  • Every person who transformed trauma into testimony

  • Every advocate who said, "If I lived it, I can teach it."

The Trinity of Self is my translation—rooted in lived experience, informed by formal training, validated by scholarly frameworks, made accessible through creative embodiment.

I honor those who came before.
I honor those who walked this path and left maps.
I honor the ancient and the modern, the mystical and the clinical, the testimony and the training.

Recommended Reading:

  • The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman (performance psychology)

  • No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems)

  • Owning Your Own Shadow by Robert A. Johnson (Jungian shadow work)

  • The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (trauma and fragmentation)

  • Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman (shamanic practices)